How to Apologize to a Customer When Something Goes Wrong

I read this article with interest because I pride myself on owning my part in things. It is something I have learned over the years, after being brought up in a home where I learned to duck and cover and hide. Mostly, like many families in the 60s, I wanted to blame my siblings for what I had done.

Later I blamed my parents. Then I blamed…well, the list goes on.

This tendency continued until I got honest. Until I learned about principles above all else.

So, I was fascinated to read the example letter at the end of the article and to realize the author was speaking of a HUGE boo-boo, not just a small and perhaps jocular gaffe, but a mistake which could not only cost the person who made the mistake the business, but it could cost the person his/her reputation and respect of his/her peers and colleagues for a long time.

I had a hard time going along with all this, but I can understand the concept of what the author calls the “service recovery paradox.”

This explains how, instead of doing what many customers in business expect, which is an explanation, defense, apology, and often endless other and mostly useless cover, the perpetrator completely owns the error and attempts to make the relationship between the customer and client stronger than ever before. This remedy can not only show vulnerability from the organization, but also shows other customers that the company can be relied upon in times of distress.

I have always wanted to get in front of mistakes. I have always wanted to go and talk to the manager in-person.

Covid has prevented much of this.

But Zoom has saved my face many times.

The point of the article is a clear and honest letter, owning what happened. Validating every part of the problem. Then explaining, in minute detail and with accuracy, what the intended remedy is.

Now, I tend to rush things. I want a quick fix. I want forgiveness and movement forward.

But this is not at all the thrust of the article. The author painstakingly outlines five steps for writing an effective apology message and explains why it is important to share the process internally with other stakeholders. It not only shows vulnerability from the organization, but also shows other customers that the company can be relied upon in times of distress.


The steps suggested for the crafting of an apology message are as follows:

Restore lost value.

  • It is important to let your customer know you validate the importance of what has been lost. Even if it is just a slight to a reputation, it is of huge importance to your customer. State it honestly.

Acknowledge responsibility.

  • State what happened and accept responsibility for the error.

Explain the problem.

  • This can be tricky because you don’t want to make excuses. The example used in the article was succinct and explained that an IT code, which had always been successful, had become outdated.

Describe how you will fix the issue.

  • This is self-explanatory.

Express your regret.

  • It is important to be sensitive here. In the article, the broker expressed an understanding of the sensitive nature of the timing of the incorrect coding – it was the busy season for textbooks.

Then, you want to document, memorialize, and share your apology process.

  • The process should be shared and shown to outside stakeholders. This process is known as Boundary Spanning, and it is critical to the service recovery paradox because it not only shows vulnerability from the organization but also shows other customers that the company can be relied upon in times of distress.

This kind of meticulous attention to mistakes and their correction can increase business and build an ongoing, trustworthy relationship between customer and client.

What do you think?