This article is in response to a piece entitled How to Break Your Addiction to Work by Rebecca Knight in the Harvard Business Review. You can find that article here: https://hbr.org/2016/05/how-to-break-your-addiction-to-work
Hard work never killed anybody. Oh, really?
What is the American Work Ethic? Why is it so sad and tragically unbalanced? Why are we prone to take 1-week vacations and hurry back to work, feeling like we might lose something if we don’t? (Like our jobs?)
Why are we the fattest, sickest, most stressed-out people on the planet?
Why do we congratulate people who work on Holidays? Why are grocery stores open on those days? WHY IS THERE NOW MAIL DELIVERY ON THOSE DAYS????
Hey, it’s easy for me to say I know how to draw a line that is a boundary between family life, physical and mental health, and spiritual health. Yeah, right. I do now. But I didn’t then…
Then. Then, when I was like the clients I see – rather make that – I was one of those clients, spinning, looking backwards and forwards at the same time, suffering from constant FOMO, spinning, always spinning, trying to please their bosses, impressing their team, conniving, making more, more, more. Busy, busy, busy. And busier.
How to break this? Well, first I had to admit it. Like the alcoholic must admit he/she has a problem with alcohol, I had to listen to my therapist tell me I was addicted to work. I resisted at first, or paid lip service to her like I did when I was uncomfortable and wanted to people-please. But as she spoke, I realized that this one ran deep.
We had to figure out why. It was interesting and not as complex as I had thought it would be.
I medicated my anxiety. Sex, drugs, rock ‘n roll. Alcohol. Cocaine. Weed. Give that up and drive yourself to be successful in a high-powered job.
And mostly learn to understand that substances and busy-ness are what keep me avoiding my feelings, they keep me hyperventilating, they keep me from connecting with you. They keep me from connecting with myself.
The author of this article states that working long hours, taking few vacations, and never being truly off – because of the ubiquity of mobile devices – is harmful to your relationships, your health, and your productivity.
She gives some tips to break your addiction:
First, think about how you define success. What do you really want? Are you getting it? Sit quietly and journal and be honest. No one will read what you write.
Reset expectations. Are you being realistic? How much can you do, really? Are you a whirling dervish because you are effective? What are your expectations about productivity? Set goals. The author suggests enlisting the help of colleagues, family and friends for accountability and support. For me, that meant being vulnerable and having clarity about the changes I wanted to make.
Refocus your attention. Multitasking is not just rude; it is also ineffective.
I have a friend who refused to drive in a car with me when I talked on the phone to my clients. She told me I was officious and inflated in what I considered my job to be. When I found out she was a therapist and often had clients in crisis, yet refused to talk on a phone while driving, I became humble and realized I was full of you-know-what. I also realized I was showing off. I also read about the milliseconds it could take for the brain to miss an important reflexive action to avoid an accident. I became convinced.
Experiment with digital detoxes. We must decide to put our smartphones, tablets, and computers away when we end our workday. We must decide when that is. We must decide to stop using our phones as a time-filler. How about no smartphone for 24-hours? I tried this, and it put me into withdrawal!!
Practice Mindfulness. This speaks for itself.
Prioritize your Health. This helps break any addiction to anything.
How about you? Do you have any addictions? Are you addicted to work?